Demon In Me
by LostInTheDreams
Summary: Flippant, humorous, me. Nagoya Chiaki runs from nothing. I can protect the one I love. I have, and I always will. But I have this one little problem with that… I'm the one trying to kill her.


**Anime Universe.** This is set right after the ending of the anime, NOT the manga. They have very different storylines/endings

* * *

**Demon In Me**

…

_**It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.**_

_Buddha_

…

I let out a heavy breath as I fell to the floor again. It hurt this time. My arm had been trapped under me and it hit my chest at a bad angle. I stood seconds later, stumbling to my feet and remaining on them unsteadily.

The demons were back.

The Devil had not been defeated by God when Maron had finished sealing the demons that had been sent to kill her. It hadn't stopped them trying again, even with Fin no long a devil herself.

They were the more evolved demons, even if they were the weaker ones with no real separation in characteristics. They should have been easy, but they were persistent and, unlike last time, Maron and I had to drive the dozen or so from the city to the outskirts of town. There had once been a building here, and it wasn't my fault that it was no longer standing.

The walls had been torn down by wind and time, slick rain making some of the overgrowth hard to find traction on, my feet slipping as I dashed across what must have been some sort of large hall.

I jumped up, landing on the remains of the wall and dashing across it. Thanks to Access, I still had the power to seal demons, so I could still help. I tried to hone my natural talents for these matured demons that didn't need a human host to affect the world, but that made them a lot more vulnerable. Demons never seemed to learn this fact. The thought that humans were weak beings was widespread among the demons and I saw no reason to try to teach them anything contrary.

"Maron!"

I heard her fall, saw her hit the ground, and turned to the demons behind me. I hadn't noticed that she was in danger, but I was having trouble enough protecting her from all sides. She was good at holding her own. Something must have gotten to her.

I ran towards her, making sure she was fine. She stood before I could do more than touch her shoulder, turning to the demons before her with strong, serious eyes. Maron. She really was strong. Stronger even then she herself realized I would wager.

A threat from her, and me turning back to the demons behind us, and we went back at it. I sealed a few, feeling rips in my pant leg too late for me to notice when one of the demons drew its hand out of the ground, ripping through thread and into my skin. I screamed in surprise and pain, unable to jump away.

"Sinbad!"

"Access, stay back!" I called to him. There was nothing the little Kuro-tenshi could do. He had proven himself in his fight against Fin, but he was weak when it came to demons. I knew just being close was hurting him.

I tore away, feeling the blood run down my leg as I panted, making sure that demon couldn't surprise me again. I was Sinbad again, even if I wanted to help her as myself. She'd accepted both were me and I could do with the help the coat provided along with my own magic.

Something hit me from behind and I fell forward, turning as fast as I could with a twist, getting to my knee and then to my feet before falling back to earth where Maron had been pushed into me and covering her as another blast of magic came my way. It seemed to seep through my skin, hitting all my nerve endings and feeling as if it were pushing against my bones themselves. After a few seconds I cried out, holding her tighter and making sure that she couldn't be hurt.

Then Maron was the one protecting me and I let her go, having to pant for breath again as the barrier around her warded off the demons. I was close to passing out, though I didn't know why. I was starting to think it was from when I hit my head on concrete the second or third time.

"Chiaki, are you all right?"

I nodded. I was fine. It was just a little concussion and some blood. There were demons that needed to be dealt with first. I went to get to my feet and fell to a knee as my legs gave out. I let out a few more harsh breaths before Maron turned from me, her outfit white and the red ribbons flowing away form her in a way that made me think we were above the clouds and being buffed by the wind even though I felt none. She was her own wind.

I let her go. There was no way I could protect her right now, and I was doing more harm than good by getting in her way. I let myself rest, knowing that she would be able to handle at least a few of them while I made sure that none could get her from behind. My head was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach, but I kept my eyes opened and focused for danger.

"No Maron! The demon-"

Whatever Fin was about to say, it was cut off as the small Jun-tenshi was tossed to the side by a large shadowy hand. I turned my attention back to where it had been a second ago, squarely on Maron, and watched as the same one that had gotten my leg grabbed her too, pulling her into an underground room that must have been slowly revealed under the floorboards.

I saw some wood splinters and heard her scream before she was out of my sight.

"Maron!"

I ran, ignoring my injuries, or more accurately forgetting them, and jumped down the hole, hearing Access shout something after me that I couldn't quite catch. I was sure I'd heard the word 'idiot' though.

I fell on something warm and wet. It was dark all around me and I heard nothing for a moment. It wasn't as much of a fall as I thought it would have been, maybe ten feet. The demon couldn't have taken her far.

There was a scratching noise as if many mice were scampering across the floor over to my left. I ran. "Maron! Maron where are you?_!_" There was no way I was letting a demon take her. I knew she could protect herself just fine, but there was something in me that didn't care how good she should be, or how inadequate I was for the job, I was going to save her. I loved her. It was my job. You don't let an angel run into danger- at least not alone.

My footsteps were loud as I ran across the damp floor. The water must have been making its way down here for a while. The rain this morning had been slight and the weather muggy, and still I was splashing around in a few inches. I hoped, ever as my mind was desperately still thinking of Maron and where she could be, that it wasn't a sewer system back up.

I found Maron. Her clothes weren't so white anymore but they still stood out in the dark basement of wherever we were. She was held up by one of the demon, looking close to unconscious, and that little girl I'd seen before was floating a few feet in front of her.

She turned to me with a mocking smile, teeth parting over lips to show off her demon nature. "Go away. You're going to ruin the fun."

I had time enough to block before she threw the psychic energy that demons seemed to possess at me. It threw me against a wall that must have been reinforced. My head told me that much when our two driving forces met one another. I lost. Sagging to the ground near unconscious myself, I reached out my hand.

"Maron… wake up." She needed to get out of here. This demon was strong, too strong to take on alone and I couldn't help her anymore. If she could get out, recover, she could take her on again, know what she was up against.

Access and Fin hadn't said anything about her being here. They must not have noticed. Maron had taken her on before and won, I should trust her to win again, but she'd had help then, and my main goal was to make sure that she was safe.

My hand fell and I blacked out.

…

Something ached inside of me. It was a sore muscle, burning kind of sensation in my chest. My hand went up, near my heart, trying to ease the pain of it.

I opened my eyes, along in a dark room. My butt and feet were soaked, along with my other hand and sleeve which must have been resting on the ground when I lost consciousness.

"Maron?" I called out into the silence. Had she gotten away? It took a while, but I was able to get to my feet by leaning on the wall. I felt a crack in it where I must have been thrown. Funny, Access only meant to give me the power to seal demons, but somehow I had strength enough not to be killed by them too. Remembering my earlier injuries, I stumbled as I walked into the darkness, calling out again.

If Maron had won, she wouldn't have left me. At least, I didn't think she would have left me. Fighting or not, given the situation, Maron was too nice for me to believe that. So she ran away. Maybe she'd be coming back, maybe not, but right now I was going to look around and make sure I didn't lead any demons to her.

I opened a few doors, wondering if this place must have been some type of inn at one point. The light from what seemed to be the moon shinning down into most of the open space. Everything was quiet. Could the demons really have just left me there, alive? It didn't seem like something they would do.

Time or other forces had wreaked havoc on this place. I was able to find my way out, sure that I'd left nothing untouched as I was bathed in the night light and air. It smelled so much better up here and I took in a few large breaths before starting to limp back to my apartment. Maron would tell me what happened when I got back, if I didn't run into Access first.

…

There was a scream as I walked out of the elevator and I put my hands up in defense, falling back a step as Miyako walked in, her fists hitting into my forearms and my shoulder when they missed their mark.

"You idiot! Chiaki! That's really you, right?_!_" She sounded near hysterics. I turned her hand aside, catching one wrist and then the other as she cried and yelled at me, forcing her eyes open against tears it seemed to meet my own eyes.

"Of course it's me. What's the matter? What happened?" I tried not to be worried right back at her, but her outburst was scaring me. What happened?

"Maron… Maron said that someth- someone took you. She said you were hurt. She said-… Chiaki." I let her fold her arms around me, see that I was indeed real, while those thoughts went through my head.

What? Maron thought that-… What had Maron thought? I was hurt, that was a sure thing, but I wasn't dead. The demons hadn't taken me anywhere. I'd just passed out. I held Miyako back, thinking about that. She couldn't have missed me and I didn't seem to have moved between when I last remembered anything and when I woke up.

"Where is she?"

"In her room. She said she wasn't going to school tomorrow. She said she had to look for you. She told me not to try. I don't- I don't know why."

I heard her sniffle, briefly thought she might be getting her snot all over me, and then put my arms on her shoulder and held her out so she could look at me and I could look at her. "Well let's go find out."

Miyako nodded. The elevator had closed while she had tackled me back in and I opened the door again, stepping out with her.

Miyako stopped after a foot or two.

"Chiaki…"

I stopped as well and turned to her, tipping my head back and to the side, wondering what was keeping her. "Yeah?"

"Your leg. You're bleeding."

I looked down, saw the gashes through my leg that were still bleeding a bit. Some of it was already hard and crusted, healing. My sock almost looked worse, dark brown with my blood and having been soaking in the mystery water.

"Yeah, what about it?"

Miyako sighed. "Come on. We'll go to your place first so my dad doesn't have questions and get that cleaned up. If Maron sees it she's just going to freak out again. She's been looking all over for you, you know."

I really wanted to see her, know what was wrong, why she thought I had left somewhere- but Miyako was right. You don't go to the girl you love, checking to make sure she's okay while you bleed all over her carpet. I turned to my own door, my eyes continuing to Maron's just a few feet away. Dressing the wound wouldn't take long. I walked in with Miyako, grabbed the box under the sink that had all my First Aid supplies since I'd noticed I'd had to start keeping some, and handed it over to her while I got a rag and washed my leg of most of the dirt and the blood that I could.

Refreshed and wearing new pants so it didn't look like I'd just had an accident in the other ones, I knocked on Maron's door with Miyako at my side, trying to figure out what had gone wrong.

Brown eyes, large and a bit red from crying peeked out at me as Maron opened the door. Her hand went to her mouth and she took a few steps back from me. "Chiaki…"

I had thought, or at least hoped, that Maron would have reacted the same way that Miyako had and run into my arms. Instead, she had retreated, the room behind her dark and only the streetlight from outside making it possible to see her since she'd backed off from the door.

"Maron?" I stepped forward, pushing the door open more and seeing her take a step back. "What's wrong? What happened?"

It looked like it took her a few second to think about it, words coming and being stolen from her lips the second that she seemed willing to speak them, inaudible sounds the only things making their way to us until finally she shook her head and looked me in the eye, seeing if she could see something there that would prove something. I wasn't sure what that something was but she seemed serious about it so I didn't break the staring contest, letting her know I was confused at least. "Maron… What's wrong?" I'd figure out what happened to the demons later.

She smiled, a tear running down her cheek. "Chiaki, is that really you?"

I blinked a few times before I tipped my head and just frowned at her. "Huh? Why wouldn't I be?"

We just looked at each other. All I wanted to do was hold her, forget whatever had happened earlier that night, and just wipe away the pain I saw on her face. "Maron, I don't know what's going on. The last thing I remember was when Myst showed up. I'm here though. I'm not going anywhere and whatever happened, you can tell me."

Maron looked hesitate but smiled more, taking a step towards me when I saw Fin come flying at us. "Danger, danger! Maron, it's a demon!"

I turned on instinct to see but something stopped me moving the way I wanted to. Instead, I reached forward, grabbing Maron by the wrist and pulling her against the wall. It took almost no energy at all to slam the door closed behind us and slip the lock into place. Maron yelled, fighting against my hold and trying to slither away from me.

"Chiaki! Chiaki, snap out of it!"

Her fingers were warm and weak, pressing against mine. I laughed. I don't know why I did it. It was so effortless. Everything- it was just all so easy. I bent down, grabbing her chin in my hand. I tilted her face towards me, kissing her as she pushed against me, her free hand on my chest. My innocent, sweet, warm Maron.

"Chiaki!" She screamed more when our kiss ended, and I felt her hand and its brief contact with my face. I turned to her, shock and horror written across my features. She slapped me. Why did she slap me? All I had done was love her. Why couldn't she just accept it?

"_You little witch_," I growled under my breath, my voice tinged with something deeper, darker, older. I had power. I had power to protect her now, to always have her by my side, and she _hit_ me for it.

"Chiaki… please." There were tears in her eyes when she met mine again. They were streaming down her face as if they'd never stop. "Please, come back. This isn't you. It's a demon."

I stopped at those words. A demon? No, I was myself. I would be able to tell if I wasn't myself… wouldn't I? Nothing about me had changed. I was just stronger now. That didn't make me a demon.

Someone was speaking behind me. I couldn't catch the words for some reason, too focused on Maron. Something light and soft touched my back, a chill to it that seemed to freeze me up for a second.

Then everything became perfectly clear. Maron would never accept me. She had always thought of me as an enemy. I'd risked my life for her countless times and all I'd gotten in return was hit, bloodied, bruised, and hated for it. Why had I said that I would always protect her no matter what? She didn't care about me. She never had.

Anger overtook me. I shook with it, tightening my hand where it was still secured around her wrist and hearing her cry out. The bones were there, right beneath my fingertips. There for me to break and shatter if I so chose to.

"That's right. She doesn't really care about you. What has Jeanne ever done for you? Has she ever gone out of her way to help you? Comfort you? Does she even know how you feel? You're not the demon here, she is. Finish her. Show her that she can't ignore you any longer."

Were those words my own thoughts? As I heard them, I could have sworn it was someone talking to me, but the longer they went on, the more and more they made sense. The more they sounded like they were coming from me. They were my words. That was how I felt. She should pay. She should pay for all the pain she made me go through.

I withdrew the string I used to fight with, with my now free hand, easily sliding it over her neck and pulling it tight as she cried out one more time. The last time. I would not let her cry again. She would not hurt me again. I would not be ignored again. I was important and my love was important.

My love… my love for her was important. Why would I kill her? I would never do that, never think that. I- I wanted to protect her. She didn't need to love me back. As I watched the strings dig into her skin, marking her, making her suffer for me instead of the other way around, my fingers loosened.

No. No. NO! Not Maron! I loved Maron! I would never hurt her.

I let go, getting to my feet and stumbling backwards as she coughed on the ground, a hand going to her throat. Something felt like it was tearing me apart inside. I suddenly felt suffocated, choking to breathe myself as my body started to flare up with pain.

Me. Fine, hurt me. But I was _not_ going to hurt Maron. Not now and not ever!

I fell to the floor, feeling a coldness come over me again. It flowed over my body, making my limbs stop their struggling, stop listening to me. My body calmed, as did my mind. I had to kill Maron. It was the only way to feel normal again. She was bad, evil. The devil. If I killed her everything would be back to normal. I could go back to school. There wouldn't be any such thing as demons. I'd… I'd be fine. It'd be how it should be.

Standing, it was like I had tunnel-vision. A grin jerked at my lips, turning into a lopsided smile as I felt a fang touch my lip. I laughed. It was all so funny. I couldn't do anything but laugh for a while, the pounding on the door nothing but a background noise that I didn't much care for.

Once the fit had passed, I sauntered back over to her. "Now, where were we?" I retrieved the tread again, pulling it taunt between my hands as I stared down at her in victory.

"Chiaki, please stop." There were tears in her eyes again, as there had been since I'd seen her. I didn't care. Her worthless tears didn't bother me. She was nothing but an obstacle in my way.

"I will stop. Once you're gone, everything will go back to normal. You're the only reason I still have to fight, to suffer." In a swift motion I had her in the tread, tied up and falling to the floor. I fell on her, my hands going around her neck. I grinned again, dark laughter floating through me. "It's all your fault. All your fault."

"Sinbad!"

That name struck something. I turned, seeing a little black angel. Right, Access. How did he get in here? "Get away from me. I don't need you anymore. I can do this on my own."

"Sinbad, stop! You're possessed by a demon!"

I glared at Access. How dare he get in my way when I was so close? Without much more thought than I wanted to harm him, a wind seemed to come out of nowhere, knocking the angel into a nearby wall, plaster falling behind him as he hit the floor, unconscious.

Good. I turned back to Jeanne. No, Maron. My hand tightened around her throat. I felt her body under me, the elation that she would be out of my life soon. Everything would be normal again. I wouldn't have to deal with this torturous lifestyle anymore.

"A… a… 'haki. Gomen."

And just like that she was gone. I felt her fade beneath me, her breath stop, her last tears falling as her eyes watched me. Why was she looking at me like that?

Then something hurt. It hurt so much worse than any pain I could have attributed to it. I screamed, grabbing at my chest, my fingers dark nails, tearing through my shirt and into my skin, spilling my blood on Maron's normal everyday clothes as I tried to claw my own heart out. I screamed again, the pain so intense I should have passed out a few times.

Then I took in a breath, growled, looked down, and started clawing at Jeanne instead. This was all her fault. She should have disappeared. The pain was still there. Maybe if I got rid of her, I'd get rid of the pain too.

It didn't work and with one last, searing body-wide blast of torture, I fell unconscious.

…

I woke slowly. My body hurt as if I'd just run a marathon, but that wasn't what I was worried about. There was a deeper, darker hurt there too. I felt hollow. Absently, and with what seemed to be an impossible amount of effort, I brought my hand to my chest. It hurt. I felt the blood there, slick and sticky. The smell of it caught my attention next but I was too out of it to do anything.

I sat up. It was hard and it hurt but I did it. I looked beside me and my eyes widened.

"Maron!"

I shouted to her, shaking her, doing anything I could to wake her. I saw marks that I remembered making, her arms clawed up as if by an animal, a few going across her face and more at her neck where she'd bled for a bit before it stopped.

I was sick. I was going to be sick and I knew it but right then, all I could do was scream. I- I hadn't done that! Maron! Maron was still alive!

I held her to me, shaking her. She had to be! Maron had to be alive! It wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair!

"You never bothered me! I swear it, Maron! All I cared about was that you were safe. I know you felt the same about me! It was love. It was always love! Maron, look at me! Please!"

I shook her more, pleading with her. Her eyes stayed opened but they never focused. I cried. I cried and screamed, telling her to wake up, to snap out of it.

Then I looked up, towards the ceiling. It was the intentions that mattered. I knew I wasn't crazy. "God! God, please! I didn't mean it! I love her. You know I love her! Give her back, please!" I yelled, pleading with God. I would plead with anyone. I wanted Maron back. She was all I ever wanted. I never would have hurt her... but somehow I had. It was her blood that was on my hands.

Holding her close and crying into her hair and onto her face, I stroked her chocolate-colored hair, whispering sweet nothings to her, telling her I was there, asking her to move, just a little, for me. To breathe. To live.

"Chiaki!"

My head snapped up to the ceiling, and suddenly it was brighter. I was still on my knees, but Maron was the one holding me, shaking me by the shoulders. "Snap out of it, Chiaki!"

My legs were cold, wet. Wet… I was wet. I wasn't in Maron's room. I was back at that inn. But wait. What happened?

I looked at my hands. Was it all a dream? As I watched, longer, black nails grew and I saw the blood on my hands. I looked at it and screamed, digging my palms into my eyes. "No! Stop! Is this all a dream?_!_ I can't take it anymore! Stop doing this to me!"

"Chiaki…"

I heard Maron's voice again. It was enough that I looked up at her from my crouched position. I saw her standing there, blood on her white outfit from wounds I had made, her neck cut open and her eyes hollow. I screamed again, backing up and falling over, finding my back to the wall. I cried. This couldn't be happening. What had I done?

"Sit tight. I'm going to defeat the demons."

Those were the last words I heard. I sat there, my emotions wreaking havoc on me as I heard the sounds of battle. It took a long time, long after the noises had faded, for me to relax and uncurl enough to take in my surroundings.

Maron was waiting there, patiently, long blond hair falling around the white outfit. The red ribbons looked like blood to me now. "Chiaki, are you okay?"

I didn't know. Was I? What happened?

"The demon tried to possess you. I thought you fought it off but Myst said something to you… Are you alright?"

Was that… was that all just a demon's vision? Was that what would happen if I did lose to one of them? Would I lose Maron? Could I stand to be by her side if, at the end, I was the reason she died? If I ever slipped up… would she be the one to suffer?

Right now my only thought though was that she was alive and I got up and I hugged her close to me, crying into her hair so that she didn't have to see the tears. "I'm fine, just fine. You're alright, so I'm alright."

I could feel her relax against me, somehow tell that she was smiling. My arms were shaking as I held her, both in relief and in fear. Myst had made me doubt myself. It would take some time but there was one thing I knew, no matter how many times that devil would try to dissuade me.

"You know that I love you, Maron. Forever."

I felt that smile around her again. It was almost as if the room itself grew brighter with it. "I know. I love you too. Forever."

I loved Maron. I'd be there for her, even if it killed me. I would never harm her- Never. I had to allow a demon to possess me if they wanted to get close to her, break through her barrier like paper, as I had in the nightmare, or vision, or whatever that had been.

And that wouldn't happen. My sweet, kind, Maron, was strong.

And so was I.


End file.
